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Humor
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
— Wernher von Braun |
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Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
— Robert Orben |
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Navajo Wisdom
About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar
spacesuits.
Nearby a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting ready to go to the moon.
The man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not.
Later, they tried a few more people on the reservation to translate and every person they asked would chuckle and then refuse to translate.
Finally, with cash in hand, someone translated the message, "Watch out for these guys, they come to take your land."
— Joseph Kleinman |
| What Is Your IQ?
Albert Einstein arrives at a dinner party. He introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What's
your IQ?" The man answers, "241." "That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand
Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We have much to discuss!"
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?" The lady answers, "144." "That is
great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have
much to discuss!" Albert goes to another person and asks, "What's your IQ?" The man
answers, "51." Albert responds, "How 'bout them Cowboys?"
— Anonymous |
| Most papers in computer science describe how their author learned what someone else already knew.
— Peter Landin |
| In the former Soviet Union, under the leadership of General Secretary Leonid Brezhnev, the Ministry of Culture actually had a Department of Humor that governed what comedians were or were not allowed to say. Comedians were required to follow, and not deviate from, a script of their performance, which the State censored once a year. Russian comic
Yakov Smirnoff was not allowed to tell the following joke during the time he lived in the former Soviet Union, but since
emigrating to the United States he is no longer under the former restrictions.
'When Americans landed on the Moon Brezhnev called all the cosmonauts into his office and said: "Americans landed on the moon, we have to land on the Sun." The cosmonauts said: "It's impossible, Secretary Brezhnev, we will burn up." He said: "Do you think I'm stupid? You will land at night!"'
— Yakov Smirnoff |
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